Articles
Ubiquity
Volume 2025, Number April (2025), Pages 1-8
Communication Corner: The Extraordinary Power of Hot Spots
Philip Yaffe
DOI: 10.1145/3732944
Each "Communication Corner" essay is self-contained; however, they build on each other. For best results, before reading this essay and doing the exercise, go to the first essay "How an Ugly Duckling Became a Swan," then read each succeeding essay.
The concept of "hot spots" has previously been mentioned in Communication Corner essays (e.g., "How to Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say" and "Why Putting Yourself in the Mind of Your Reader is Easier—and More Challenging—Than You Might Have Imagined"). Now it is time to look at the concept in detail. Why? Because understanding and applying hot spots (which is not all that difficult) has often proved to be the quickest and easiest way of markedly improving one's writing. Judge for yourself.
At least one commentator on good expository (non-fiction) writing has credited me with inventing hot spots. Actually, "discovering" would be a better word. I don't recall ever consciously setting out to originate a better way of constructing individual sentences in order to achieve maximum reader interest and comprehension. Likewise, I don't recall ever consciously setting out to use hot spots in each sentence I write in order to achieve maximum reader interest and comprehension. I just remember that one day, while I was editing someone else's text, I made what seemed to me to be a natural modification. The author, who was looking over my shoulder at the time, exclaimed, "Wow! That's so much better. Why didn't I think of that?" I said under my breath, "Why didn't he think of that, and I did think of it?" This is when I discovered the concept of hot spots.
So, what is this magical concept that so significantly improves expository writing?
If you examine any well-written expository text, you will discover that most of the sentences put the most important information at the beginning and at the end of the sentence, while less important information fills the middle.
You may never have noticed it, but words at the beginning and at the end of a sentence have stronger emphasis than those in the middle. Therefore, by putting important information into these key locations (hot spots), you aid reader comprehension.
Here's an example to demonstrate how hot spots work. While considering the following three sentences, bear in mind that hot spots don't have equal value. In general, the one at the end of a sentence is somewhat more forceful than the one at the beginning.
- Yesterday, astronomers searching for evidence of life outside of our solar system announced the discovery of a new class of planets.
- Astronomers searching for evidence of life outside of our solar system announced the discovery of a new class of planets yesterday.
- Astronomers searching for evidence of life outside of our solar system yesterday announced the discovery of a new class of planets.
I hope you agree that sentence A says what it has to say. But sentence B is better. And sentence C is the best of all.
Why?
In sentence A, we see that "yesterday," the time of the announcement, is in the hot spot at the beginning of the sentence. However, knowing when the announcement was made is hardly as important as the announcement itself. Moving "yesterday" to the hot spot at the end of sentence B somewhat helps, but the time of the announcement is still very much a detail.
Sentence C puts "yesterday" in the middle, where such a minor detail belongs. This leaves the hot spots at the beginning and the end free to convey truly key information.
PRECAUTIONARY NOTES
There are two caveats to consider.
1. Main clause and dependent clause. Not all sentences are simple and straightforward. Often, they contain both a main clause and a dependent clause. The main clause provides the most significant information the sentence is trying to convey. The dependent clause is there to convey useful but less important information. Hot spots apply principally to the main clause.
Consider the following: "Having arrived late to the party, Jane immediately looked for the hostess in order to apologize."
"Jane immediately looked for the hostess in order to apologize" is the main clause. "Having arrived late to the party" is the dependent clause.
Readers will instinctively notice this difference between the main clause and the dependent clause. Thus, the hot spots at the beginning and end of the main clause are where you should focus your attention. However, don't be dismissive of the dependent clause. If poorly constructed, i.e., long and rambling, a dependent clause can overshadow the main clause, such that the value of putting key information into the main clause's two hot spots will be largely lost.
There are different ways to reduce the dominance of a dependent clause. For example, "Jane, having arrived late to the party, immediately looked for the hostess in order to apologize." This construction puts the emphasis squarely on Jane, the subject of the sentence. Or "Jane arrived late to the party, so she immediately looked for the hostess in order to apologize." Or "Being extremely embarrassed by arriving late to the party, Jane immediately looked for the hostess to apologize." And so on.
2. Other languages. Hot points work extremely well in English because of the nature of English grammar (subject + verb + object). However, they may not work the same way in other languages, where basic grammar differs. If your native language is not English, or if you are writing in another language, check to see where the hot spots are (I am viscerally convinced that they must exist) and investigate how best to use them.
Now it's time to put the concept of hot spots to the test with a few exercises.
EXERCISES WITH HOT SPOTS
Below you will find a number of test sentences. For each one, you will be asked to recast it to maximize the effect of hot spots. Then you will see how I recast the sentence. Bear in mind that my version is not necessarily the only one or the best one. But I hope you will agree that it is significantly better than the original.
Exercise 1
Original: "In the presence of our company's chairman, the new bio-science research center built at a cost of $75 million was inaugurated yesterday."
Your revision: Write one or more revisions before proceeding.
My revisions:
- The new $75 million bio-science research center was inaugurated yesterday. In the presence of our company's chairman… (more info on the inauguration).
- The new bio-science research center, built at a cost of $75 million, was inaugurated yesterday. In the presence of our company's chairman… (more info on the inauguration).
Note that the word "yesterday" remains at the end of the first sentence in both revisions. In most cases, this would be an error, "yesterday" being a detail that does not merit the hot spot at the end of the sentence. However, in this case, putting it anywhere else would have made the transition to the rather clumsy phrase "In the presence of our company's chairman…" considerably more awkward.
Also note the placement of the $75 million cost of the new facility. In the first revision, it is used almost like an adjective in describing the new research center. In the second revision, it is in a separate phrase (in grammar known as an "appositive"), which gives the cost of the facility greater emphasis.
Exercise 2
Original: "Hillary Clinton fired back at the official Republican Party Twitter account after it asked for her to specify her healthcare plan on Wednesday."
Your revision: Write one or more revisions before proceeding.
My revisions:
- Hillary Clinton Wednesday fired back at the official Republican Party Twitter account after it asked for her to specify her healthcare plan.
- Hillary Clinton fired back Wednesday at the official Republican Party Twitter account after it asked for her to specify her healthcare plan.
- Hillary Clinton fired back at the official Republican Party Twitter account Wednesday after it asked for her to specify her healthcare plan.
- On Wednesday, Hillary Clinton fired back at the official Republican Party Twitter account after it asked for her to specify her healthcare plan.
Note the differences in the four revisions.
In the first three revisions, the word "Wednesday" is put inside the sentence rather than in the hot spot at the end. The position of Wednesday in the three sentences gives a slightly different emphasis, but there is really very little to choose among them.
In the fourth revision, Wednesday is placed at the beginning of the sentence, but in a short dependent clause ("On Wednesday"). Why? In order to put greater emphasis on the main clause, "Hillary Clinton fired back at the official Republican Party Twitter account…."
Remember: There is usually more than one way to improve a sentence. The important thing is to know what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Exercise 3
Original: "I claim to be ignorant and proud of it, but rather than being proud of my lack of knowledge, I am proud of recognizing just how much knowledge I lack."
Your revision: Write one or more revisions before proceeding.
My revisions:
- I claim to be ignorant and proud of it. But rather than being proud of my lack of knowledge, I am proud of recognizing just how much knowledge I lack.
- When I claim to be ignorant and proud of it, I am not talking about being proud of my lack of knowledge but rather my recognition of just how much knowledge I lack.
Note how the first revision, by dividing the original into two separate sentences, strengthens the message. The two separate sentences together say exactly the same thing as the original, but the effect is decidedly different. The second revision uses an introductory dependent clause, "When I claim to be ignorant and proud of it", which strengthens the impact of the main clause, "I am proud of recognizing just how much knowledge I lack."
Both revisions, like the original, are strengthened by judicious repetition of the key words "proud," "knowledge," and "lack," almost like a drum roll.
Exercise 4
Here is a longer, and therefore more complex, exercise. At first glance, the text may already appear to be fairly well written. However, it could be considerably improved. Use everything you have learned about how to be clear (Cl = EDE), concise (Co = LS), dense (D = PL); the 5 Ws & H, the inverted pyramid, and hot spots to make it even better.
[Original]
Oxford University has once again petitioned the High Court to protect its buildings and staff from animal rights activists. It is asking that a temporary exclusion zone, in force since last month, be made permanent until a full civil trial on the matter can take place. The "no harassment" boundary prohibits protesters from going within 35 meters of university property.
University officials said that work on its new £18 million bio-medical research laboratory was stopped in July because contractors were being intimidated by animal rights activists. Animal testing to be carried out in the facility would be 98 percent on rodents, with the remaining 2 percent on amphibians, fish, ferrets, and primates.
[Revision]
Oxford University has renewed its battle with animal rights activists by petitioning for a High Court injunction to limit protests, which university officials said have stopped construction work on its new bio-medical research laboratory since July. The £18 million facility would use animals for testing, with 98 percent of experiments on rodents and the remaining 2 percent on amphibians, fish, ferrets, and primates.
The university claimed that the activists are intimidating contractors working on the new facility. It wants a temporary exclusion zone, in force since last month, to be made permanent until a full civil trial on the matter can take place.
The "no harassment" boundary prohibits protesters from going within 35 meters of university property.
Note that the revision passes the Stop Reading Test. Readers can stop reading after the first paragraph and still have a clear, sharp picture of what the story is all about. If they wish to know more, they can continue reading. But they don't have to. The choice is theirs.
Busy people very much appreciate this kind of writing. Such people have neither the time nor the desire to read the entirety of every text put before them. What they want is for the writer to clearly identify what they must read. Any additional material they may wish to read should be left to their own judgment.
If making maximal use of hot spots is crucial to producing a good expository text, it should not be your first concern. A good expository text requires at least two drafts (usually more). Your first draft should be largely devoted to figuring out what you want to say, gathering information needed to say it, and establishing a first general structure. In your second (and subsequent drafts), you need to look for how best to apply hot spots and other aspects of good writing (clarity, conciseness, density, inverted pyramid, adding missing information, cutting out extraneous information, etc.)
Good writing isn't easy. The good news is that it becomes easier with practice. Many of the things you have to consciously think about now will become almost automatic. Using hot spots to best advantage is certainly one of them.
Author
Philip Yaffe was born in Boston, Massachusetts, in 1942 and grew up in Los Angeles, where he graduated from the University of California with a degree in mathematics and physics. In his senior year, he was also editor-in-chief of the Daily Bruin, UCLA's daily student newspaper. He has more than 40 years of experience in journalism and international marketing communication. At various points in his career, he has been a teacher of journalism, a reporter/feature writer with The Wall Street Journal, an account executive with a major international press relations agency, European marketing communication director with two major international companies, and a founding partner of a specialized marketing communication agency in Brussels, Belgium, where he has lived since 1974. He is the author of more than 30 books, which can be found easily in Amazon Kindle.
Copyright 2025 held by owner/author.
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